I learned from that relationship to dodge men who are more interested in rowdy, drunken nights out with their mates than spending time with their partners.After Lembit and I split up, he began a relationship with 24-year-old Gabriela Irimia, one half of Romanian pop duo the Cheeky Girls.I’ve never judged a man by his looks: wit, intelligence and humour are far more attractive than a gym-honed body — and few men of my age are Adonises.But my circle of fiftysomething female friends look good for our age.
So when two years ago my husband, motor racing entrepreneur Jonathan Ashman walked out on our marriage without notice or explanation I was, for the first time in my life, utterly heartbroken.
It’s the first time in 40 years I’ve been on my own for any length of time, and until now I’ve been too raw to contemplate another relationship.
Well-meaning friends have enticed me out to dinners where eligible single men have clearly been invited for my benefit. I’ve even been out on a few dates but I’ve known the time wasn’t right.
When you are picking yourself up from heartache or nervous about dating after years spent in coupledom, just getting back out there helps, and who knows, love may bloom where you least expect it.
You certainly have a better chance if you can sit across a table from someone and chat. At our age, we haven’t got time to waste, so don’t linger if you know the signs are unfavourable. ‘Lovely to meet you, but I don’t think it will work out,’ is far kinder in the long run than fudging the issue.